Doing v. Being

Flip the Script, A Series

Spoiler alert: I’m not going to save the best for last! In this series, Flip the Script, I am going to give you my best lesson up front. While this might not be a good sales technique, my goal is to help people the best way I can. 

The foundation for my coaching business, Free to Be, rests on this very notion of Doing v. Being. Today’s culture is very focused on what we see other people doing, particularly as a measure of success. When we meet someone new the default question we ask them is, “What do you do?” While this is a facet of a person’s life, what people do however is not the truest reflection of who they are. It is a visual of what is happening on the surface. 

For example, two people might be serving at a food bank. However, the act of serving at a food bank simply shows us an action, not the generosity of their heart. One person might be there because of a desire to serve while the other may be there out of compulsory reasons to participate in community service. This human tendency to take things as they seem or address what is on the surface is natural and also potentially dangerous. Without knowing the heart of a thing we can make assumptions and decisions that do not serve us or others.

Focusing on doing alone gets very tiring. It’s true that we all have things to do in a day, but when all of our doing only comes from a sense of duty or obligation we easily get burned out - even if it’s doing things that are “good”. Alternatively, when we can better understand who we are uniquely as human beings, we begin to move differently in the world. 

As a life coach, my approach is to help people understand that in order to get to where they want to go it is more about knowing themselves than doing the “right” things. Life has general principles that are wise to follow, but our journeys are all different. What feels like success to you might not be to someone else. 

By concentrating on being, our doing flows naturally. True joy, peace, and contentment happen when we spend our days focused on our character and unique strengths. We then invest our time into people, spaces, and places that align with who we are and who we want to be. 

If you are tired of walking (or running) around the cul-de-sac of life not getting anywhere, here are some questions for reflection and action steps to help you exit:

1. Do you keep doing things that you think will make you happy only to end up dissatisfied or wanting more?

2. What are your unique likes/ dislikes, passions, and interests?

3. Are the things you are doing something you have a passion for or something you have simply been doing out of habit or at the suggestion/ request of another person? 

4. Take this easy Enneagram quiz to help you understand your core drive and personality: https://enneagramtest.com/test

5. Schedule a Free 30 minute Consult with me!