Feelings Don't Need Fixing

Addressing feelings as problems to be solved is not in alignment with who we are created to be as humans. While feelings are a neutral entity, there are obviously some that we consider positive and others we consider negative. For the purpose of this article, we are talking about those we would deem negative.

Most of us have a tendency of leaning too far to one side or the other when it comes to having negative feelings. One side are those of us that stay stuck in our feelings and use them as the sole basis for decisions, while the other side are those of us that try to dismiss feelings almost as quickly as they come because they are inconvenient and uncomfortable. 

Dismissing or diminishing feelings often leads to resentment, unforgiveness, and anger. Allowing our feelings to take over usually looks like anxiety, depression, apathy, or escaping. 

What if instead of trying to fix our feelings we sat with them. Witnessed them. Allowed ourselves the space to experience them. Then, after that, we can take time to understand what they were trying to tell us. What if we were to recognize that to be healthy humans we need to practice attention, connection, and intention.

As we all hopefully know by now, we cannot heal what we don’t address. By giving attention to our feelings we are recognizing our own worth. Feelings are meant to be indicators of something that is happening around us or to us. They are important for our ability to be present and aware.

Sharing our feelings with a trusted person is an essential part of human thriving. While journaling about them is also helpful, there is something that can’t be substituted in the connection of relationship. We are able to feel seen and heard, which also encourages us to move forward in a healthy way.

If we engage the first two steps then we can move forward with intention. We can observe what the feeling was communicating to us and shift or change as needed. Without taking the time to be reflective about the feeling we will likely continue to have similar feelings occur, perpetuating the cycle of dismissing or drowning in our feelings.

Remember your humanity. Remember who you were created to be as a complex and wonderfully made person. Connecting to your own humanity will allow you to connect with others. You are not a problem to be solved but a person to be seen and loved.